Submarine Walls/Your Luggage will be Taken away and may be destroyed/Does anyone here work in an office?/Men going to the toilet

I've been getting interested in walls, recently.
No, not ice creams.
Not sausages.

But walls. Boundaries that separate one thing from another.

It seems to be a uniquely human thing, building walls. Don't worry, there's probably a couple of builders in here tonight going "He better not start slagging of Walls, I'm having enough trouble in this downturn without him laying the boot in about walls". Don't worry, I'm not slagging off Walls.

I get the whole "Wall concept". I do, I really do.

But I won't lie to you. There's one thing about walls I don't get. And that's underwater walls.
Apparently there's an underwater wall in between Jordan and Saudi Arabia which delineates the border and you can dive along it.

Sounds good doesn't it?

And then you stop and think for a micro second.
An underwater wall?

Who thought that was a good idea?

I mean, without wanting to make you judge me negatively at any point, I have smoked a joint before. And I have inhaled. I have been stoned. And I've done some pretty stupid things, eaten more Pringles than I thought was humanly possible - they should definitely have a 'NOT FOR SALE FOR STONERS' health warning on those things.

Maybe they could give newsagents a simple Stoner test like when someone comes into a late night garage to buy a packet of Pringles and three double deckers - the only people in the audience who will find that remotely funny are people who have smoked cannabis before so if you're sitting next to someone and they're laughing, then judge them.

Don't judge me.

So someone comes in asking for a pack of Pringles and three double deckers just say "We're doing a promotion at the moment involving double or nothing on Pringles, where if someone wants to go double or nothing on this pack of Pringles we'll just flip a coin and if you call it right you win another pack of Pringles".

Now if you ran this test on a normal person they'd just say no. They don't want to take risks with food purchases. They've got a pack of Pringles and 3 Double Deckers, they're good, at least you hope they are. But to someone stoned, well, that's a different story.

They're going to go for that food and gambling option right there.
And then you know, you've got them. No sale.

So, as I was saying. I have been stoned, I've admitted it. If I ever become famous that's something the Sunday papers cannot expose me for, but in all the times I've got high, I have never, ever, ever in my life, thought it was a good idea to build an underwater wall.

I mean, it's fraught with problems.