Body language experts

If you're ever dealing with someone who's an expert - or even someone who's just read a book on - body language then it's fun to take advantage of them.

So, things happen in what's called gesture clusters. So for example when someone folds their arms it could mean they're being defensive, or it could mean they're cold.

But then. Breakthrough! If this gesture is combined with another like this one, (crossed legs)

** Maybe could get a chair from the audience for this 'un.

Then that may well be defensive positioning. That they're a bit uncomfortable. or that they think you're a cunt.

So if I'm ever in the company of someone who knows body language (it's a bit like 'knowing' Karate isn't it?)

[Japanese accent] You know body language?

If I'm ever in the company of such a person then I'll slip in a bit of this.

Just some weird shit.

Of course there's always the playground classic, too.

(slip the itching your face bird or coming your hair v's]

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When I'm saying all this stuff, is it really, really obvious that it started life with doing the bird and the v's and trying to think of some context or some story I could tell you just so I could do that on stage.

Because it's really obvious to me.

And the thing is, and I can GUARANTEE this based on actual statistical FACT, 34% sometimes rising to 38% of the people here today will actually use that before the week is out.

You will.

And think of me.