So, it used to be that my life's ambition was to have written an episode of The Simpsons.

That's looking increasingly unlikely.

For the dual reasons that I'm not writing one and Fox don't know where I live and/or aren't knocking on my door.

So, I've come up with a new thing that I would have liked to have done.

Perfectly achievable (if you had a time machine) but certainly relatively local to me - and therefore do-abble, and something I would have been equally proud of.

And it's yellow too, just like Homer.

I'm referring of course to the opportunistic wit who, on learning the location of the Snappy Snaps that George Michael slammed his Range Rover into, bonged out of his brains, and in all probability nipping out to buy a combination of Pringles and/or Double Deckers larger than the Greek National Debt, graffiti'd it.

And not even 'tagged' or did anything in any way elaborate. But actually etched it into the side of Snappy Snaps with what I like to imagine was literally, an old school compass.

A perfect execution of the idea in every regard.

Genius.

Beauty.