What does £2k get you at Great Ormond Street

So, they're building a new hear and lung wing over at Great Ormond Street Hospital which costs a fair few pennies but your kind donations are all going to help that cause.

At the moment the ward there is so cramped that there's really just enough room for the beds and the equipment. Once the new ward is built, kids will have room by the side of the beds which means doctors will be able to tend to them there and really importantly parents will be able to come and be beside them.

Also there's a new machine called an Ecmo which helps artificially keep their heart and lung going when they need a transplant and replaces something exceptionally scary sounding called a Berlin machine, which is you're going to have to be attached to a machine, doesn't sound like the sort of a machine you'd want to be attached to.

So that's where all your hard earned sheckles are going/went.

Thanks and gawd bless.

Matt x

DBD? Three 'jokes'.

So there I am in the pub minding my own business and nursing a pint and I hear in the background a noise, faint at first but getting ever louder.

It's a lonesome voice, questioning, pleading?

Dbd? Dbd? Dbd?

Then a small Asian man, who has got very close to me, unbuttons his big coat.
Dbd?

I'd read about this.
He's an illegal consonant seller.

Dbd?

But I wasn't short of D's. Or B's for that matter, so I let him go on his way.

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I think Crimewatch should do a nationwide search for a missing person called Dbd.

Whoever they are, and I'm sensing it's a foreigner because it's not exactly an English name, they're sorely missed, and there's an army of people out there looking for them.

And maybe it would help if there was some sort of photo fit for them, because the people looking for them clearly have no idea what they look like.

The amount of times I've been minding my own business in a pub and someone's come up to me and a small Oriental man has approached me inquiring "Dbd?".

"Dbd?"

I shake my head.

He looks forlorn and moves on to the next table.

"Dbd?"

Will they ever find poor missing "Dbd"?

Come on guys let's get it on Crimewatch and let's make the difference.

(Baaaa-jshhh) Bhs joke.

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The weakest Dbd joke.

The first time I was in a pub and a small Asian man came in selling DVD's. I thought he was selling a jacket with great DVD storage capability.